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So it all began exactly 20 years back. I was a skinny girl weighing only 49 kg. As expected my fiancé was fascinated with my figure (especially my abdomen). Fast forward to 2006, I had my first baby. As I’m half Indian and my husband was Indian, they bound my tummy with a cotton saree to reduce it (It’s a custom followed by most Indians and Sri Lankans). It worked like a miracle! After 3 months, I was itching to relax and let go of the saree. And as we were living abroad, we returned to SL to introduce the baby to my loved ones.

Curse my tongue for wanting all the spicy food, the belly returned as if it was just waiting to pop out. Back came the tummy belt now. Though I reduced a bit, it was still there.

Then had my LO three and a half years back. Same procedures and same results. Though I wasn’t fat, I didn’t fit into my old clothes with comfort.

After the second baby, had an accidental pregnancy within six months. Returned to SL, because my usual morning sickness came back with a vengeance. Four months into the pregnancy, my stomach was huge (as it should be in third trimester) . We later found out that the baby had birth defects and had to make the difficult and emotional decision of aborting the child as the doctor suggested. I won’t share the mental and physical agony I went through. After the abortion, I had an unusual craving for sweets. Usually, I’m not a sweet toothed person. It was really weird that I craved sweets so much. Being the only girl in the family and after losing my mom when I was a teen, I get what I need from my dad. So in came all the Bombay sweets and alas, I was 80 kg in no time! By this time, I was having trouble with my so called true love as well. Never felt so ugly in my life! I blamed it all on myself.

Thought he was cheating because I was fat and ugly. Started starving myself and almost killing myself with exercises. There was a slight change initially. But after a while, the weight remained the same. I was so baffled. Why wasn’t it working? Ugh! So frustrating!!! I didn’t know at that point that metabolism and water retention were the culprits. Wait for it!

Then after a few years, he managed to ship us (myself and the kids) to SL, so that he could “work” and focus on his dream job without our interference (trust me, it came as a blow when he told us he can’t sacrifice his career for the sake of the family).

Then came the next bomb disguised as adult cystic acne! Noooooo... It was huge as life, painful and left unsightly dark scars which remained for ages!

Then my medical training kicked in. I thank God for that to date. Because I started searching frantically for a cure for my acne. After weeks of researching and evaluating, I decided to use a diuretic tablet for my hormone imbalance due to the forced abortion which wreaked havoc in my system.

After carefully weighing the pros and cons, I decided to try it. Heck! I didn’t have anything to lose at that point. I was devastated about my marriage and on top of that my face which had a weird pattern of polka dots 🙄

So I started on the diuretic. Now came the hardest part. I had to avoid sodium to help eliminate the side effects of the diuretic. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I had to plan an entire new diet! I managed to stick with my plans and believe me or not, not only I got rid of the acne. But 20 kg in months!!! Then only I realized that my weight problem was connected to water retention! The diuretic didn’t only balance my crazy hormones, but got rid of the water accumulated by my body!

Then I started researching more about weight loss and came across green tea! Most of us have tried green tea and only some of us have succeeded. Let me share that secret with you. Never soak the green tea in boiling water. Yes, you heard me right! Soak it in hot water (a bit less hot than boiling water. I mix 1/4 of tepid water to boiling water) ONLY for 30 seconds. The tea should look pale yellow in color. Not light brown or dark brown. Brown indicates that the leaves are over cooked and oxidized. Oxidized green tea loses all its benefits. And take the green tea half an hour before lunch and dinner. NOT before breakfast.

Suck in your tummy always. It tones down your abs and helps improve your posture. By “always”, I mean it literally. Relax only when you sleep. You have to do it, while standing, siting or lying down. Good bye tummy and back ache as well!

A little bit of exercise wouldn’t hurt as well. To be frank, I’m too lazy and tired to exercise. But I don’t have a maid and have a business to run, not to forget two kids to attend to. So I get physically busy throughout the day.

Oh, in the meantime when I started losing weight, most of the foolishness left me - along with the fat - as well. I realized that him cheating on me had nothing to do with me or my body. I successfully challenged him and left him. I’m not going into details about the family dramas which unfolded (typical South Asian tele series!) Of course I waited 12 years into my marriage to give him chances to change himself. But when I got to know that he was into other kids (teens), I had to protect my own.

Now I’m 39 years old, have two daughters who are 14 and 10, I weigh 53 kg which is good for my height of 5’6”. And I’m a proud owner of a business. I’ve evolved into someone I had dreamed of when I was a mere teen.

Since then, I’ve been researching about natural ingredients which helps lose weight. Another ingredient which cuts down the amount of fat intake by our body is ginger. Have a ginger tea right after your meals without sugar (mix honey or brown sugar if you can’t stand the taste). You will thank me in about a month. If you have issues with constipation, try ginger juice (fresh ginger ground with some water for a month. Hard to consume, but worth it).

Lime and honey in hot water (again, NOT boiling water) on an empty stomach, not only helps with weight loss, but improves the texture and complexion of your skin.

Dividing your usual three meals into six meals, helps by not expanding your stomach. You eat the same amount without expanding your stomach.

Having a cup of water (preferably hot water so that it won’t interfere with your digestion) helps cut down the amount of food intake.

Don’t eat rice for all meals. There are a lot of balanced diets out there on the net. Tap that brain of yours and do some research! You don’t have to stick to the same dishes mentioned in the diet. Use your imagination and knowledge to replace unhealthy food with healthy food. Learn more about good fat and bad fat. Google is a treasure when you use it wisely.

Once you learn to control your body, you can even have cheat days. There are days I binge on unhealthy food "unlimitedly"! 😂 Guilty as charged! This body lives for the perks. But I cut down on unhealthy food for a day or two to compensate. And all is fine. After all, we never know when we’ll say good bye to the world. Covid 19 is a wake up call for everyone 😝

Alright, jokes apart, I have an important message to all the ladies out there, no matter how chubby or how skinny you are, you are beautiful! If you feel like losing weight, do it for yourself. If you feel confident as you are, feel proud about yourself! Don’t let anyone burst your bubble! You got it girl!

If anybody is trying to body shame you, flip that finger and get on with your life. You deserve to live your life for no one but yourself!!! Any ladies feel like sharing your grievance, feel free to contact me. We are in this together as ladies. Let no man dim your lights. If you’re a man - reading this, don’t commit yourself for the looks.looks can be deceiving and it doesn’t last long (even cosmetic surgeries has it’s limits 😂) To everyone who’s reading this, any human being, has more than their looks to offer you. Be proud of your partner and appreciate and accept them as they are. You will both grow together and shine 😊

 

Diroshi Fernando

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Diroshi Fernando
Author: Diroshi Fernando
Mother of two beautiful girls (15 and 12). A few more words about me: Follower of Buddhism, Entrepreneur, BSc Cosmetology lecturer (PMU), Reiki healer and 3D modeler, most of all a friendly and understanding soul who’ll listen to your issues and provide consoling and counseling if needed (for free) - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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