There, I said it! The tainted “D” word - divorce, the death of my marriage, the cause of the diabolical situation that I get myself into, unwiingly because everyone thinks it is ok to be insensitive because I am Single.
So the "single woman" status is at different levels : you can be single, widowed, separated or divorced.
Single and not married - This particular (MY) age brings with it a lot of peer pressure - people will label you as difficult, picky, loose, and loosely bisexual, yes there is a quick assumption that you are lesbian but have not come out. The idea of being single by choice- how could that even be?
Widowed - Now this status garners a lot of sympathy. No way will I use even my dark humor to say anything insensitive but it is a terrible situation and humans are reasonably decent to you. Unless you are stuck with some terrible men trying to take advantage of you, yes happens everywhere, commonly.
Separated - There is still hope that you will get back to your cheating spouse who had a midlife crisis and decided to dip his hands into the sweets jar. Friends will rally around and either say "get divorced" or "this is what it is, so shut up and stay".
Divorced - Ah that bad “D” word, because I mean, it is dirty laundry out, washed and hanging,in public. You went to courts and actually had the audacity, the gumption, the BALLS to get out of something that didn’t bring you any joy. Sadly the Divorcee is treated with much contempt and insensitivity, mostly by women. And men seem to think it is ok to send inappropriate messages or assume you to be desperate, frustrated or both.
The tip of the iceberg, recently, was the Mrs. Sri Lanka competition. Forget about the "grabbing her crown" business, I saw the look of Contempt that a few of the ladies gave her. It might have looked like it was disgust for trying to get away with the crown. For me, it was the look of contempt, to put in her place a divorcee. I have seen that look in the eyes of many a woman when they put down divorced women.
Yes, I do, in fact, have a club of divorced women friends where some of the funniest, most tragic and heartbreaking stories shared. More about later.