We divorced moms have a clique to bitch about the married moms being nasty to us. Yeah we're those mums who form a tight huddle at Seed Cafe. Women can be compicated, crazy and mean to other women. It happens. We have learned to navigate this. Anyway back to my story - I have this amazing divorced friend. One of my huddle. My tribe. I found said friend in a state of tears - a right mess. We made an emergency detour to Bayleaf for a Latte, but this turned to be an Irish Coffee type of situation.
The situation being that her friend had accused her of trying to steal her husband. "Now", I asked her straight out, "Does her husband remind you of your ex?" She was like, "Yeah, come to think of it, he does". And therein lies the answer we are not interested in preying on your husbands. We have moved on from our own shi--. However much the lovely society of Colombo would like to think every single divorcee is looking for her next caretaker. Most of us are not. We have so much baggage of our own, so much stuff inside our heads and hearts to deal with, we are not interested in stealing other women's partners. Jeez.
Another lady I know was laughingly joking about how her "friends" make sure to discuss their couples night outings and have told her she can join if she finds a partner. This lady, who is quite capable of holding a conversation without said man-attachment would rather not do these beautiful couple nights filled with “mansplaining”.
I would like to put forward a disclaimer that not all divorced women are man stealers. We don't care about your property. And not all married women are saints either. Each to her own, but stop judging us when we walk into a room. We are not planning on stealing your men, keep that liability with you, and have your happily ever after. We (that is, myself and my imaginary help) are still trying to figure this single parenting carousel with untrained toddler and dog.