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Let's look at high schools; I think they are a bevvy of "mean girls central." You have a group of girls who spend their free time sure as hell to make the life of the nerdy girl or the party animal miserable. These mean girls grow up to be mean women who will again continue to move in groups. It's exciting times if one woman in the group is single, getting a divorce, or having a catfight with another friend.

This doesn't start at high school, it starts way before in playschool when we have to plan our little one's birthday party. It has to be a better theme, a better loot bag, a better outfit. The gang of mommies has to be there watching this and try to outdo each other.

The mummy group is another force to be reckoned with. It's hard enough that you have your child in some groupie forum, mums form their own groups. It's hard to crack in and get access to the groups. If you start off with about fifteen mummies in junior school trust me you will be lucky if 6 of them in the group stay together until senior high. There will be a fall out as moms point fingers at one another about how their child got spoilt by the other person child.

As teenagers, we have the anxiety of watching some of the girls have dates and sail through school as the good looking ones. While we try to straighten our hair, wear our contact lenses and fit our wide shoes into spiky heels. We have to meet the mean girl who says "Oh but you should have relaxed your hair, this looks fake."

At my workplace, I have seen that men are more forgiving when a woman makes a mistake than if you have a female boss. We don't cut slack for women since we are already juggling a multitude of things and we just don't have the patience for it either. I was in a situation where one of my female employees made mistakes in a document consecutively. The client in the first case being male let it be corrected and done again. The female customer screamed and yelled and gave us a hard time. I don't blame her because at my end I did yell at the junior who made her mistake. I didn't care if she was distracted by her domestic issues because for me I had my own juggling to do.

The maid who tries to get rid of the other maid, the mistress who tries to oust the wife, the mother in law who causes long-suffering ill-treatment to the daughter in law. Sister in laws who fight within an extended family or even sisters who fight. This all comes down to the fact that we do gossip about the other women in our circles. We would be in one WhatsApp thread with everyone there and have sub-threads to talk about someone else who's not in the group.

Come on ladies, let's cut some slack to our tribe. As we see women marching together and standing up for their rights. We could try to help each other by being a little bit more kind or grateful.

For you do know

"There is a special place in hell for women who don't help each other"

- Madeleine Albright.

To Be Me
Author: To Be Me
"To Be Me" is a series of biographical articles by an intelligent woman in a predicament she's trying to get out of. Writing is therapeutic for her and we hope it will encourage others like her to speak up.
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