This blog is all about you my dear reader and I am pleased with the response to my first blog - The wandering husband. My sole objective is to remind you, the superwoman, as to how special you are lest you forget whilst you hold the family together.
Let's take a walk down memory lane, when you were young girl or teenager, albeit hopeful of the future. The dreams were many, the plans grandiose and the spark in your eye challenged the world to prove you wrong. Some of you wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, designer, engineer, corporate executive or a homemaker. You wanted to travel the world, see new places, enhance your knowledge and contribute to society at large in some small way.
In the tangled web we now call our life have you taken a moment to stop, pause and check as to whether you achieved some of those dreams or any at all?
Why am I writing to you today my dear reader? The answer is simple, I am surrounded by my forty something friends who are unhappy with their lot in life. More so, as now a feeling of failure has seeped into their thoughts. The sense of non-achievement, be it professional, personal or social seems to invade their thoughts constantly. The lack of self-worth is so acute it took me completely by surprise. So who are you my dear reader?
The nanny, the cook, the driver?
In my books a housewife and mother is a superwoman and like I said before you wear so many hats and give so selflessly. The danger of course is that you forget about yourself and your family steals your identity! So who are you my dear reader?
Are you juggling a professional job and family duties? Now this takes extreme skill, strength and of course stamina. You wake up at 5am, ensure the children are ready for school, meals are cooked and packed, arrangements for after school activities are in place and not mention organising the running of the house and in some cases running of your parents homes too.
I have many a friend who is a juggler and the tragedy is that she runs on autopilot, hasn't a minute for herself and her moment of peace is actually locking herself in the toilet for 5 mins!
Now this dear reader is the dedicated stay at home mum whose entire life revolves around keeping the home fires burning and ensuring the wellbeing of the children. Ironically she is just as busy as the Juggler. Her day too starts at 5 am and ends at 12 midnight. She is on the road dropping the kids to school, classes, running household errands and not to mention entertaining the husband's business associates.
The Social Butterfly
She is has magically managed to build a life for herself attending our rather boring cocktail circuit and appears in every magazine and newspaper. Coiffed and not a hair out of place, displaying her larger than life designer bag and beaming at the camera and the rest of in my opinion uninspiring attendees. Her idea of self-worth includes rounds of coffee mornings, high teas, cocktails and frequent shopping trips to Singapore. Of course the home is run by an army of domestics and the kids are the responsibility of the driver!
She saddens me and often breaks my heart to see her completely ruled and under her husband's thumb. Married young, often arranged by the parents, she has moved from despotic household to another. She is the perfect accessory who is not allowed to think and is only there to follow instructions, obey and implement. I have come across friends whose husbands dictate what they wear, where they go, what they eat, and what they should do including chores etc. Whilst she has to follow his rules, he is busy leading a double life and in most cases has a female friend or two stashed away!
The Yummy mummy
You got to hand it to her for having the gumption to lead and extroverted life in a male dominated society. She is the gym fanatic, looks like a million bucks, does the party and night club circuit and is very happy to be the centre of attention. She believes in the precept if you got it flaunt it! And is very happy to drop and pick up the kids in her sexy gym outfits raising the blood levels of most fathers and security guards at the school! She has chosen to live her life on her terms and is happy to conduct liaisons with the gym instructor, the adventurer, the tourist who is passing by and not to mention the never ever ending line of toy boys!
The High Achiever
I am a big fan of those who go after their dreams and achieve it. But tragically most women who do go after their dreams ended up being divorced as our egoistical men in Colombo are not too keen on strong women who have a mind of their own and obviously smarter and intelligent than them. So she is a single parent who has the remarkable ability to take care of the children and manage her career with ease and skill.
The Over Ambitious
Now this is the type of mother who really doesn't find favour with me. Overly ambitious for her children who unfortunately have no childhood to speak of. They are pushed and cajoled from the tiny age of 5 to be the best in class, the best in sports, and the best in extracurricular activities. They dedicate their entire life to creating this perfect robot of a child and will act as if the world has collapsed when it comes to exam time. Her entire life is spent competing via her child for academic achievements, recognition in school, not to mention fancy birthday parties and good looks! I almost wonder if she is living her life and dreams through her children to make up for her under achievements.
What every category you fall into, you my dear reader need to make time for yourself, live your life and above else achieve some of those childhood dreams. You need to have an identity for yourself independent of your family. Your family does not define you. When the children have flown the nest and you feel a sense of achievement for raising a family, you will also feel the vacuum. You must have a life to look forward to once the kids have embarked on their lives. Starting to build a life in your fifties is not easy, which is why you must always have live and achieve at least some of your dreams whilst raising your family.
So my dear reader, when the race is run and the end is nigh you must feel a sense of self- worth and achievement. After all, your life belongs to you. Not you're parents, nor your husband, nor your children.
Don't let anyone steal your identity, be they your friends of your family! Stand up for yourself. For you surely deserve it for the many herculean tasks you perform on a daily basis.
Simply put, you are special, you are a superwoman and you are my heroine.