Let me explain. I don’t know how it happened but I have managed to injure my foot quite badly. So badly that it rendered me completely immobile unless I preferred yelling in pain every time I had to move my leg an inch.
So, the next few days made me feel rather inept and defective to say the least. My inability to actually race through the day and my lack of independence as I struggled to walk or hop a few paces without needing to sit down overwhelmed me.
Recalling my doctor’s emphatic words that I either rest or decide if I want the last week to be my entire life, I realised it was important for me to put me first. I had to come to the sad realisation that I had to slow down and turn off the engine if I really wanted to recover.
Thus ensued the most incredible series of events. The world did not fall apart. The sun continued to rotate on its axis and my household lived on and even thrived as I relinquished my ‘mom duties’ to Charlie.
Of course, the coffee cups didn’t get washed in time and we may have overlooked the growing (and possibly sprouting) laundry basket for a couple of days, but we all survived.
Molly of course could not fathom this state of affairs. She oscillated between stunned to incredulous to stunned. Of course she understood that I was in pain and was the best seven year old nurse one could ask for, but she could not comprehend the fact that I could not be the one to make her favourite sandwich or help her wash the unruly knots out of her hair.
She hovered around me with a deeply worried look on her face. It is to be expected. She’s not seen me this way and this immobile for a long period of time. I think her mind was processing how Mummy can be ‘down for maintenance’ - that like - is not even - is definitely not possible…is it?
Could it be? Is Mummy…actually…human?
I laugh as I think this and my foot does not appreciate the giggles and lets me know by sending a shooting pain down to my foot. I take a deep breath and know that as funny as it is, it is true. I didn’t realise that Molly sees me as this ever present, energiser bunny and now that the bunny needs a reboot it’s caused great imbalance in her world. But she will learn to cope and even thrive from this experience. We both will!
It does happen once in a while, the glue who holds it all together needs time for maintenance. It is a bit hard to ‘let go’ of it all when this happens and some of the superheroes plough through. But maybe it is our bodies telling us ‘it is time - we need time and rest.’
“But I don’t have time…”
“I have so much to do…”
“It will all get piled up and I’ll have even more to do…”
Did these/ do these thoughts run through your head?
They ran through mine. I felt down in the dumps. But then I had an idea. I took a pen and my notebook and I wrote all my worries down. It was so therapeutic and I felt as if by writing down my worries I was ‘releasing them’ and making them smaller than they seemed in my head.
If you don’t put yourself first at times and take care of your own needs, there won’t be much left to take care of the rest.
So here I am with my foot propped up and making a list of things to reorganise my life. Actually looking at my life from a strategic angle without looking at things from the surface of getting through the day.
1. Where am I now?
2. Is this where I want to be?
3. Where do I want to go?
4. What do I need to get there?
5. What’s my timeline?
6. What’s my daily/ weekly goal for my life?
7. Now let’s plan out what I need to do for my family…
A mindmap worked very well for this soul searching activity. It gave me purpose and a plan. I feel rejuvenated in my convalescence and this beautiful quote became even more insightful for me.
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
― John Lubbock, The Use Of Life
I hope it will inspire you too today! Remember mums need time for maintenance too